Eight common communication challenges for carers and how to tackle them
- Nikki Brown
- 23 hours ago
- 8 min read
Updated: 6 hours ago
Caring often means being in a constant loop of conversations with doctors, family members, support services, or the person we care for. It’s a huge part of the role, and yet it can be one of the toughest things to get right. And if we regularly leave conversations feeling misunderstood, frustrated or exhausted - it can be incredibly draining.
The good news? Many of us are already brilliant communicators even if we don’t always see it that way. We’re constantly juggling emotions and advocating for ourselves or loved ones under pressure all while keeping everything ticking along, often without pausing to recognise the skills we’re using in the process.
Still, it’s not always easy.
Challenges with communication can often feel overwhelming, especially when we’re exhausted or dealing with difficult situations. But we’re not alone. In fact, carers across the UK have been sharing how they’re navigating these tricky moments in our very own Mobilise Hub and sharing what’s helped, what hasn’t and the small shifts that are making a difference for them.
In this blog, we’ve gathered some of the most common communication challenges that can crop up when looking after a family member or friend, and pulled together tips and real-life insights from carers who’ve been there.
1. Professionals not listening or taking us seriously
Why it’s a challenge
Many carers feel overlooked in medical settings, such as with a GP or specialist, or in a hospital. Professionals may speak only to the person we care for, dismiss our concerns, or fail to recognise our role in their care. They also often use medical terms or jargon which can sound like they are speaking in another language. This lack of clear communication can lead to not only frustration for us, but inadequate support for our situation.
“There have been times where I’ve nodded along in appointments without understanding half of what my GP has said. I was too embarrassed to ask them to slow down.”
Ways we could try to overcome professionals not listening or taking us seriously
Be assertive and persistent when raising concerns or asking them to explain more clearly.
Keep a record of conversations and medical information to refer back to.
Use clear, direct phrases like “I need you to…” or “I am concerned because…”
If we’re not satisfied with the response, escalate concerns through PALS (Patient Advice and Liaison Service)
2. Language barriers
Why it’s a challenge
If English isn’t our first language or the person we care for isn’t fluent then misunderstandings with professionals, service providers, and even family members or friends can arise. We may struggle to explain symptoms clearly, understand medical terminology, or navigate important paperwork. This can be particularly difficult when discussing complex medical issues or legal matters which often use jargon.
When there’s rarely time built in to stop and clarify on such terminology and pause to translate it, it can make it harder to advocate for the person we care for or to make confident decisions. When those around us assume we’ve understood (when we haven’t) it can leave us feeling overwhelmed, or even responsible if things go wrong or get lost in translation. It can also add a lot of pressure on us if we need to translate for the person we look after, especially if it’s about sensitive or challenging topics.
Ways to overcome language barriers
Write notes of key symptoms and concerns before appointments.
Use translation apps, such as Google Translate, which can translate spoken conversations in real time.
Request an interpreter when booking healthcare or support service appointments.
If an interpreter isn’t available, take someone we trust to help translate.
Learn key phrases relevant to the person we care for’s condition or needs.
Use visual aids to help communicate symptoms or instructions.
We might also find it helpful to familiarise ourselves with the key terms or acronyms many of us come across when caring.
3. Personal difficulties in communicating
Why it’s a challenge
For many of us, speaking up doesn’t always come naturally. Some of us are more introverted, lack confidence when talking to others, or are neurodivergent which can make it more difficult to express ourselves or advocate for the person we care for. It can feel intimidating to raise our concerns, especially when communicating with professionals who may use complex language or dismiss our concerns. We can find more support for this in How to cope with draining carer interactions. We may also struggle to express our needs clearly with the person we care for, or others in our life.
Certain groups might feel extra pressure when trying to communicate. For example, if we’re a young adult carer we might be worried that we won’t be taken seriously due to our age. If we’re a male carer, we may feel the weight of societal expectations and norms around how we’re expected to communicate or behave as men. All of this can make communication even harder to navigate and important concerns might go unspoken, needs can be misunderstood, and we may be left feeling unheard or left out of decisions that affect both us and the person we support.
Ways to overcome personal difficulties
Write down key points we want to get across before appointments to help structure conversations.
Bring a trusted friend for challenging conversations, or practice with them beforehand.
Ask professionals to explain things in simple terms and provide written summaries.
Use email instead of phone calls if we find verbal communication challenging.
Attend workshops on communication and self-advocacy.
"The stress of the situation caused me to lose my ability to speak coherently."
“I find emails helpful- I get very anxious on the phone and forwarding emails is so much easier”
4. Digital or not in-person communication
Why it’s a challenge
If we don’t live with the person we care for, staying in touch can be difficult. They may struggle with technology, ignore calls, or miss important messages from professionals if we aren’t there. If we live in rural areas we may also find poor internet access and wifi strength makes communication harder, or have more challenges in getting face to face appointments.
As more GP services shift to online options we might also find things are being missed that could have been explained more clearly with in person appointments. This can feel frustrating, and leave us feeling unheard or unsupported.
Ways to overcome digital or not in-person communication challenges
Set up easy-to-use communication tools, such as voice-activated assistants or large-button phones.
Arrange for digital training if they’re willing to learn.
Ensure appointment reminders go to both of us where possible.
Visit in person whenever feasible to check in and maintain connection.
Know we can request in person appointments.
Brush up on our own digital skills.
5. A difficult relationship that makes honest communication hard
Why it’s a challenge
If our relationship with the person we care for is strained, discussing needs, setting boundaries, or asking for help can all be difficult. Past conflicts, resentment, or unspoken expectations may act as an undertone to any conversation we have with them.
Similarly, we may have strained relationships with family members for us or the person we look after, who may have different ideas on how we should be dealing with the situation. Or imply we are not doing enough. This can be exhausting and use up our valuable and limited energy on unwanted drama or tension.
Ways to be more honest when communicating
Set clear but kind boundaries to protect our wellbeing.
Seek emotional support or counselling to manage our own feelings.
Focus on practical solutions rather than emotional disputes.
Know we can step away from a situation if it is getting heated or unhelpful.
6. The person we care for doesn't want us to tell others about their situation
Why it’s a challenge
Some people feel ashamed or fearful about needing care due to fear or judgement, cultural expectations, or personal pride. This can make it difficult for us to seek external support or access necessary services if we don’t want to feel like we are invading the privacy of the person we care for. This may also be the case if we are looking after someone with a mental health condition or an addiction due to the stigmas associated with the situation.
Ways to communicate when the person we care for doesn't want us to tell others about their situation
Explain why seeking support benefits both of us.
Reassure them that asking for help is not a sign of weakness - and believe this ourselves.
Find confidential support services that respect their privacy.
Find a space with peers in similar situations where we can talk to openly in a safe space, such as the Mobilise Hub.
7. Cultural expectations or generational differences create barriers
Why it’s a challenge
Different cultural backgrounds or generational norms can affect attitudes toward caring, finding more outside support, getting professional help, and emotional openness. Some cultures discourage discussing personal struggles or seeking outside assistance expecting family members to step in as much as needed. We can find stories from carers in our community, and how they dealt with these challenges, in Cultural expectations to caring.
“Placing parents in care homes is considered a no-go, almost taboo. The unwritten rule is that family members should care for their ageing parents within the comfort of their own home.”
Those of us who are LGBTQ+ carers or caring for someone who identifies as LGBTQ+ may face additional challenges, such as a lack of understanding from professionals, feelings of discrimination, or estrangement from family or friend support networks.
Ways to overcome cultural expectations and barriers
Learn about the cultural values of the person we care for to understand their perspective.
Share our views in a calm and neutral way.
Set clear boundaries of what we are or are not able to do.
Acknowledge that both of us are adapting to new circumstances.
Find culturally sensitive support groups or professionals who understand our background.
Seek LGBTQ+ inclusive services and advocacy groups for guidance and support.
If facing discrimination, report concerns and seek legal or professional advice.
8. Communicating with someone who has conditions such as dementia, memory loss, or special needs
Why it’s a challenge
When the person we look after has a condition such as Alzheimer's, dementia, autism, a learning disability, or is non-verbal, our everyday communication can become more complex. They might find it hard to process what’s being said, express how they’re really feeling, or remember information. Hearing or speech impairments can also make verbal communication difficult.
Sometimes it’s not about the words we use to communicate with them but finding other ways to connect and understand each other. And when the usual ways of chatting don’t quite work, it can be tough for both them and us.
“I’m a carer for my son who is Autistic and nonverbal. My son has to be the loudest nonverbal there is! Even though he hates noise! He always has a smile on his face (well mostly) which always melts my heart.”
Ways to overcome it
Use simple, clear sentences and repeat key points.
Encourage them to make notes of important information in their own handwriting.
Use alternative communication methods, such as sign language, picture boards, or assistive devices.
Try to avoid contradicting or correcting them unnecessarily to prevent distress.
While it can be frustrating, try to be patient and allow extra time for responses.
Learn their preferred communication style and adapt accordingly.
‘’My father-in-law is a very deaf 90-year-old hypochondriac who can't sign but needs to understand what he's told by his GP, otherwise he has a stress out and ends up using his fall alarm service to call an ambulance.’’
Final thoughts & next steps
All of our journeys to finding more helpful ways for clear communication will look different, and it’s normal to face challenges or feel frustrated along the way. From struggling to find the right words, to feeling dismissed by professionals, or just battling nerves in high-pressure moments - it can be tough. But it’s also something we can work on, one small step at a time.
We might find it helpful to reflect on one thing we find difficult when trying to communicate with those around us and try one new strategy to help improve that. Maybe it’s preparing a few notes before an appointment, practising a key phrase, or asking someone we trust to join as an advocate.
We can also seek support from advocacy services, our local carer support groups, or communication training programmes to build our confidence in navigating difficult conversations.
And if we’re looking for a place to talk things through, swap ideas, or just hear from others in the same boat then the Mobilise Hub is a great place to start. We can open up about our communication challenges with others who just get it and share what’s helped us along the way.
We might also like👇🏽